Almost another trip around the sun. Where did the years go?
Last year my horoscope read: "Happy January 15 Birthday. This will be a year to reevaluate and rediscover. Don't feel the need to act in haste or to let pressure and stress rule your life. Step off the stage and look methodically at what you have done and what you still want to accomplish. Make choices based on your desired end results and then figure out how to reach them."
Not a "happy" fortune but in many ways, spot on advice still needing some nurturing. The death of my husband of 41 years minus 14 days brought overwhelming grief, pressure and stress. These very physical emotions did rule my life. How could it not be so? My first inclination was to act in haste. There was so much to do. So many unknowns.
I hid from the stage. I am fortunate in that I have friends who understand my need for space and time to work things out at my own pace. I am just now peaking out from behind the curtains.
Attempts at being methodical led to the numerous piles of stuff that plague my home. I still don't know what I need to do, let alone, what I want to accomplish. All the closets and cupboards are now clean and empty. What do I put where? What do I keep, donate, discard? I guess that is a metaphor for my life in general. What do I keep, donate, discard of Kay Lee of the past as I go forward on to a new episode of my life?
My focus remains on readily tangible, small, obstacles. I am still in the now, the moment. I feel empty but, newly hopeful. Stuff of my past and future needs to find storage.
My desired results - I have dreams.
This morning, when I went outside to take a picture of frosty Buddha frog contemplating this past year, I found a beautiful bouquet of frozen flowers friends had left while I was gone yesterday. The flowers survived as I know I will. My plans are to thrive in the future.
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